mr swanson

"Why don't your peers ever stand up while their school song is being played? It's a confederacy of dunces."

hipster counting

Ali: *points to a person* Is that a hipster?
Me: No Ali, that's a hobo.

psychic

ali: i wanna see your french teacher.
*flips through pages*
ali: is that her?
*it is her*
me: yeah how did you know?!
ali: she just looks crazy.





*ali points to a teacher*
ali: is she crazy? she looks like a psycho.
*it is mrs petersen*

elements

nathan kraft, in the yearbook: my favorite element is helium, because it makes you talk goofy.
ali: yeah thats justin bieber's favorite element too.

the preamble

so im teaching ali the preamble, and this is what he does.

'...establish justice, insure domestic train quality, provide for the common defense...'

campfire

me: let's do some trivia!
ali: yeah! harry potter trivia!
me: no we have to do something that includes them. *gestures at parents*
lydia: star wars trivia!
ali: yeah! star wars!
me: um, no, how about just, knowledge trivia?
lydia: no thats dumb we don't know about that.
me: you don't know about knowledge?

dreaming

"You don't just wake people up when they're sleeping, Lydia. Especially when the dream is just getting good and youre about to fight Darth Sidious."

-Ali

the worst kind of music

"My driver's ed teacher plays country music while we take our tests. It burns my soul."

-Meaghan

logic

"I'm not gonna talk about people behind their back. Because talking about people behind their backs leads to drama which leads to broken friendships which leads to no friends which leads to depression which leads to suicide." *deep breath*

-elsa

narwhals

"After all, everyone knows that unicorns are simply land narwhals."

-Olivia L in her speech

finals stress

"I dont' consider finals a day of class. I consider them a day for me to die."

-Haley B.

the joy of a softball team

"having butt cheeks to butt cheeks is how we become a team!"

-keeley.



dont even ask.

first one from me, hehe.

"im not broke, i just dont have any money..."


i said that completely seriously, without realizing what i was saying.

the talent show

"if you had a nickel for every time you went to the talent show, you would have...one nickel."

davis kleven

those dang people and their bibles.

so we're at a hotel, and you know how there's always bibles in the drawer by the bed? yeah so ali opens the drawer and sees the bible and he's like:

"there's always bibles! people always forget their bibles!"

needless to say, we laughed at him.

the jungle book

so me and milica are watching the jungle book.

milica: what movie is this?
me: the jungle book.
milica: ohhhhhhhhh, is that the one where they sing lion kings?!
me: ...

who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?

me lydia and ali: (to that tune) who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?
lydia and ali: raisa stole the cookie from the cookie jar!
me: who, me?
lydia and ali: yes you!
me: couldn't be!
lydia: (not to a tune) yesyadid.

facts of life

'the average person will eat 1500 peanut butter sandwiches by the age of 18'



-its just a fact.

ahahaha people.

frank: "dude, do you have a pencil?"
adam: "no i threw all mine in the ceiling."

PWNED (as in me)

me: "ali, you have an ugly face."
ali: "it's the new style."

failed ninja.

*ali sneaks up behind me*
me: "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"
ali: "ah dang, thats not how it was supposed to work."

MONDAYS

meaghan: "i'm not an idiot, it's just monday!"

ali, again

me: "ali, what do i like?"
ali: "food."

seniors i overheard

some kids i overheard while i was chilling on the couches before 7th hour:

dude 1: "dude, did i tell you about the cereal i wanna make?"
dude 2: "no."
dude 1: "froot noobs!"
dude 2: "why would you wanna make froot noobs?"
dude 1: "so i can eat noobs for breakfast!"

me and ali have good times

btw, hes 8.

me: "ali, whats the plan for when i babysit you?"
ali: "umm, you give me my nannee, and i shut up."


hahahaha. btw if you dont know, a nannee is a baby word for a pacifier. fyi.

i kinda like this..

i know its not really funny and its kinda serious which is kinda new for me lol..but whatever i was just watching robin hood and i liked this quote and soooo here it is..

no one really said it, it was more of a running theme.......

"rise and rise again, until lambs become lions."

poor michigan..

(on the way to michigan)
"what state is michigan in?"
-ali

green bay packers

"wait, are the packers from michigan?"

         -louisse

by: me:/

conversation 1: [at lunch]
me [about ketchup dispenser]: that one doesn't work, i just tried it.
band kid: haha, okay.


conversation 2: [at band concert that i was helping at]
me [cuz i had to carry a lot of chairs and music stands in a small amount of time]: do you guys wanna grab like, a music stand? cuz i have to carry...[mental math]...14.
band kid: we have to get our drums ready...
me [frustrated sigh]: kayy




moral of the story: i suck.

Poor Child Who Got Sent Into the Hallway to Get Yelled at by Mr. Swanson

after mr swanson leaves:

"That kid is not coming back alive. They're gonna find him dead in a closet with a baton-shaped hole in the middle of him."

-JOHN (klein)

Motivational Speaker (or not, was he really? he said he wasn't but he kind of was)

everything he said

-the guy who said all the stuff. whatever his name was

Band is the Land of Funny Stuff

"So, you might not have known this, but I used to play the piano in church. Now, this might surprise you for two reasons. One of them is that I played the piano, and the other is that I went to church."

          -Mr. Swanson

Confused?

Louisse: What's Holy Angels? Is that like a school?
Me: Yes.
Louisse: Wait, is that our school?

My Crazy Cousins..

"I can't wait til this baby grows up. I'm gonna be the first one to give her whiskey!"
     -Adam (my cousin whose sister (my other cousin) just had a baby so it's his niece)

Pirates Are Wise Too!

"No cause is lost if there is but one fool left to fight for it."
         -Will Turner (he still wants to rescue his dad)

Also From Band

"DBS. Know what that means? Don't be stupid."
       -Mr. Strand (our long term sub band teacher)

From Band

"If you don't quite get this...fake it."
   -Dan H. (the crazy one)