mr swanson

"Why don't your peers ever stand up while their school song is being played? It's a confederacy of dunces."

hipster counting

Ali: *points to a person* Is that a hipster?
Me: No Ali, that's a hobo.

psychic

ali: i wanna see your french teacher.
*flips through pages*
ali: is that her?
*it is her*
me: yeah how did you know?!
ali: she just looks crazy.





*ali points to a teacher*
ali: is she crazy? she looks like a psycho.
*it is mrs petersen*

elements

nathan kraft, in the yearbook: my favorite element is helium, because it makes you talk goofy.
ali: yeah thats justin bieber's favorite element too.

the preamble

so im teaching ali the preamble, and this is what he does.

'...establish justice, insure domestic train quality, provide for the common defense...'

campfire

me: let's do some trivia!
ali: yeah! harry potter trivia!
me: no we have to do something that includes them. *gestures at parents*
lydia: star wars trivia!
ali: yeah! star wars!
me: um, no, how about just, knowledge trivia?
lydia: no thats dumb we don't know about that.
me: you don't know about knowledge?

dreaming

"You don't just wake people up when they're sleeping, Lydia. Especially when the dream is just getting good and youre about to fight Darth Sidious."

-Ali

the worst kind of music

"My driver's ed teacher plays country music while we take our tests. It burns my soul."

-Meaghan

logic

"I'm not gonna talk about people behind their back. Because talking about people behind their backs leads to drama which leads to broken friendships which leads to no friends which leads to depression which leads to suicide." *deep breath*

-elsa

narwhals

"After all, everyone knows that unicorns are simply land narwhals."

-Olivia L in her speech

finals stress

"I dont' consider finals a day of class. I consider them a day for me to die."

-Haley B.

the joy of a softball team

"having butt cheeks to butt cheeks is how we become a team!"

-keeley.



dont even ask.

first one from me, hehe.

"im not broke, i just dont have any money..."


i said that completely seriously, without realizing what i was saying.

the talent show

"if you had a nickel for every time you went to the talent show, you would have...one nickel."

davis kleven

those dang people and their bibles.

so we're at a hotel, and you know how there's always bibles in the drawer by the bed? yeah so ali opens the drawer and sees the bible and he's like:

"there's always bibles! people always forget their bibles!"

needless to say, we laughed at him.

the jungle book

so me and milica are watching the jungle book.

milica: what movie is this?
me: the jungle book.
milica: ohhhhhhhhh, is that the one where they sing lion kings?!
me: ...

who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?

me lydia and ali: (to that tune) who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?
lydia and ali: raisa stole the cookie from the cookie jar!
me: who, me?
lydia and ali: yes you!
me: couldn't be!
lydia: (not to a tune) yesyadid.

facts of life

'the average person will eat 1500 peanut butter sandwiches by the age of 18'



-its just a fact.

ahahaha people.

frank: "dude, do you have a pencil?"
adam: "no i threw all mine in the ceiling."

PWNED (as in me)

me: "ali, you have an ugly face."
ali: "it's the new style."

failed ninja.

*ali sneaks up behind me*
me: "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"
ali: "ah dang, thats not how it was supposed to work."

MONDAYS

meaghan: "i'm not an idiot, it's just monday!"

ali, again

me: "ali, what do i like?"
ali: "food."

seniors i overheard

some kids i overheard while i was chilling on the couches before 7th hour:

dude 1: "dude, did i tell you about the cereal i wanna make?"
dude 2: "no."
dude 1: "froot noobs!"
dude 2: "why would you wanna make froot noobs?"
dude 1: "so i can eat noobs for breakfast!"